Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
