Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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