Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
