"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
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