1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
God, I missed his penis.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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