im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Randomize
