Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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