I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
