I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Randomize
