You were right. It hurts to walk today.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
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