need another drink. this is the easiest way
I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
