Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize