I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
