Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
Randomize
