i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
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