I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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