ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Oh god it's open bar.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
