If i come over, it means nothing
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Randomize
