Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Randomize
