mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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