Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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