I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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