"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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