Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
