I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Randomize