You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Randomize
