You can't special order awesome
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Randomize
