dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
