nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Randomize
