All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
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