fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Randomize
