I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
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