worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Never let your siblings swipe right.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
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