Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Randomize
