you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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