you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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