I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
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