She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
