I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Randomize
