I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
