I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Randomize
