She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
