I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Randomize
