i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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