Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
either way he was missing a nipple.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Randomize
