Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
y did u give ur computer a hand job?
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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