It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
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