go do what you do best...puke behind churches
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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