I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize