he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Randomize
