so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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