trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
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