Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
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