I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
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