Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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