Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I supernannyed him into submission
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
