Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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