Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Randomize
