and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
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