I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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