i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
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