Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
