Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
