Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
