I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
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