I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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