haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Randomize
