This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
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