You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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