My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
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